There’s no such thing as mistakes or regrets in life… only lessons.

Life gives you lessons… the challenge is to learn from them!

I recently had a friend tell me that I am stubborn, not the first time that I have heard this in life, but on this particular occasion it bruised my ego. I constantly preach to my friend and family that life is about lessons, but am I actually learning?

Stubborn: Having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons... 

From a very young age I have always been determined, strong willed and concrete in my opinions… stubborn! It has on numerous occasions been to my own detriment. So why on this occasion did I take it so hard when I was told that I was stubborn, maybe because I don’t want to lose this person from my life and maybe because it is finally time for me to learn the lesson that being stubborn gets you nowhere…

I have spent the past few days reflecting on how and why I am stubborn… all thought patterns come back with the same results – I am indeed stubborn – far too stubborn for my own good and I need to change. I need to grow, let down my guards and be open to life. To a certain extent,  my stubbornness has acted as a shield, protecting me from situations and opinions that I don’t agree with, or am scared of. 

The truth is, I get jealous easily; I am stubborn and dig my heels in far too often. I don’t say sorry enough. I judge people too harshly. I act like I don’t care, but I actually care too much. I exude confidence, but am dreadfully self-conscious. I over analyse the smallest things and probably come off as a bitch from time to time. So, now the time has come…. For me to learn, for me to change!!! 

 

Change does not come easily, but I am determined to grow in life. From here on in, I vow to try to put my pride aside and lower the barriers… I vow to be flexible!!!

To my friend... thank you for the lesson! Swallowing my pride was not easy, but needed. Life is about evolution and growth! And I am here 100% 

With my beautiful mother in November 2012!

Body Talk

Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me! Ironic, broken bones can heal and often the scars that run deepest are those inflicted by the spoken word!

I have noticed more and more I and the worst culprit when it comes to negative body talk; “I feel fat today”, “I hate my legs” or I find myself desperately looking to friends for self-assurance “Does this make me look fat?”, “Is this outfit OK?” and it goes on…

From time to time I have moments of nirvana where I feel fabulous and on top of the world, yet rarely find myself, or hear others making self-acclamations like “I feel fabulous today” or “Boy, my butt looks great in these jeans”.

Admitting that I am vulnerable and more than often feel dreadfully self-conscious when it comes to my appearance is a hard thing. I look to my mother, who in my eyes is amazingly beautiful, fit and fabulous. Yet it amazes me that she does not see this. Somehow the reflection does not mirror the emotions and perceived image in our minds. Continuing with negative body talk only reinforces a destructive mindset. 

I had a date recently; I rushed home after work, jumped into the shower and started getting ready… With an entire new wardrobe of clothes to choose from the selection should have been easy. Yet, somehow, I found that nothing fit, nothing looked right, nothing felt right… All the way along my body talk was terrible, leading to me feeling worse. After a near breakdown I decided on an outfit and left the house feeling dreadfully self-conscious, only to be greeted by my gentleman friend who told me how beautiful I looked! In that instant, my paranoia suddenly disappeared and I felt comfortable and confident once more.  

My goal is to make positive statement. I have come to realise that I am not perfect, I never will be. I am happy with who I am, and need to be proud of how I look! This needs to be reflected in my words and acclamations… so here goes, a new attitude!!!